Thursday, October 16, 2008

Domestic-city – not my cup of tea.


My family often reminds me of the rhyme about "the old lady who lived in the shoe" and movies like "Cheaper by the dozen," only mine is cheaper by the half-dozen.

There are lots of pros to being brought up in a family like mine.

For example, if you spilt some something, you don't have to worry about taking the blame…just toss it on somebody else and they'll pass it on endlessly.

 

"I didn't do it, she did."

 

"I didn't, he did."

 

"Who said I did, she always does it. She was born upside down, remember? She's the one who's clumsy,"

 

and so forth it goes on…

 

The cons may sometimes out stack the pros but that usually depends on

  •  your mood
  • your outlook on life, and
  • how long you had to wait before you could use the bathroom.

 

Another often irritating thing about being a part of my household is that nothing will ever be where you left it. 

The watch you left on the dresser, will some how be in kitchen sink.

The new sweater you just bought, will be in the washing machine because your teenage sister would have sneaked out in it while u were asleep and then done some more of that spilling that we just spoke about.

And your 50 mark assignment to be submitted that morning, will have yesterday's chicken curry upset over it.

 

To some of you, these things might sound impossible.

But you have to believe me just like you believe in ghosts and UFO's [you say you don't, but watch enough movies about them] that they do happen.


The ghosts remind me…did I tell you that almost every appliance in my house malfunctions? 

It's crazy enough to drive a self-righteous poltergeist nuts because he's looking around and thinking -

 

"…huh I dint do that?.... But I dint do that either? …." 

 

LOUD CRASH

 

"Did I do that? …ODS [Oh Dear Satan] I think I've lost it"

 

[To the Ghosts reading my blog, please do not take offence…You could believe in God too, but Satan is something we all have proof about. That’s why I used him. Nothing personal.]

 

The clothes dryer bangs every time we switch it on, and moves from the wall to the bath tub [a distance of about 3 and half feet] by the time the drying cycle is complete.

The microwaves sputters [yes, it really does] every time u feed in more than three minutes and has tiny explosions with lighting and sound effects if u punch in the numbers too quick.

The vacuum cleaner never works when we're expecting guests and creates a hell of racket leaving u temporarily deaf for about 20 min each time you run it. But thanks to goodness, we got that fixed today.

 

The racket was caused by the following items which were located in the heart of the poor machine's motor:

  • 10 colour pencils assorted
  • one toy plastic syringe
  • one 9 inch knitting needle

 

This post, coming at a time when we're shifting residence is a little unfortunate because we're selling some of our stuff. But I can assure you that the haunted appliances I just told you about are coming to India with me. 

So u can drop in anytime and check out fa's freaky fumbling home appliances yourself.


After all, you gotta see it, to believe it.

 

1 comment:

Vinod said...

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